A First Father’s Day Without My Daddy

Here we are: the first Father’s Day after the passing of my dad.

I’ve had some questions come to mind as I approach this day: Am I going to be ok? The answer is: I don’t know.

I have not been ok since he passed away. I looked up to my dad because of the amazing man he was; he always had a smile on his face looking at the bright side of life even in his hardest battle, which ultimately took his life. Prostate cancer took one of my best friends away from me!

Prostate cancer left me with just memories of a man that was amazing. I remember little things from my life with my dad. That gate he always told me the only way to open was to say, “open says me.” The multiple times I saw him on stage doing what he loved, his passion: playing harmonica with his band. My daddy was the one who also taught me how to two step. That’s my sweetest memory have those multiple father daughter dances. Remembering every time my dad told me he was proud of me. My daddy walking me down the aisle. I even miss the moments my dad told me I was making mistakes.

My daddy taught me what an amazing love story was supposed to look like by the way he loved my mom. My daddy taught me so much and he was more than willing to help pick up the pieces when I fell. I miss his laugh, I miss his voice, I miss his jokes, I miss everything about him.

Sometimes I call his old number, just to see if it works, just to see if maybe I could hear his voice one more time. No luck; of course it is disconnected. My dad singing “Brown Eyed Girl” is my ringtone on my phone. It’s the last song I ever saw my dad preform. He sang it at his birthday, Jan 18, 2017. Eight months later my dad was no longer with us. So many things were taken away from my mom, sister, and I with the passing of my father. Father’s Day is forever changed. I love you daddy and I will always miss you.